July 19
7/20 Clarification: This isn't an angry/perturbed entry, just me contemplating things, so don't take things too seriously =)
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine while she was looking through some of my new pictures. She ran across a photo of another friend of mine that I used to have a crush on, and made the comment, "you could do better than that...no offense." And I didn't really take offense, but for some reason that I couldn't really place, the comment bothered me and has been tickling my brain ever since.
What does it mean to do better, or worse, when it comes to your heart/mind/animal nature finding someone appealing as a potential mate? More specifically what contextual frame(s) is this better/worse scale coming from? This person's looks and how others view them? Their social attractability and how entertaining they are? Their intellegence and how successful they are in life? How good they are in bed? Or is it how you feel inside when you're apart and think about them, how you feel when you seem them again; the way just being around them sometimes puts a big stupid grin on your face? Their ability and desire to push away the loneliness and feeling of singularity inherent to human nature, even if just for a few precious exquisite moments?
I don't really know the answers to all those questions, and I think at this point in my life it'd be presumptuous of me to boil down the complexities of a person and a relationship I might have with them as being "better" or worse" than some standard. And it seems, not that I haven't been guilty of it, somewhat conceited of us to try and judge another person's love interest as being better or worse (with the obvious exceptions of a sleaze ball, domestic abuser, drug addict, etc). I'm not saying this as a criticism of my friend, but more as a comment on the human need to contrast gray zones, that we don't really understand, into black and white, good and bad, etc. If you want more evidence of this, just look at our current Resident in Chief Bush.
I mean, wouldn't life be so much easier if everything were black and white? if you could meet someone and immediately mark them with a check or X as dating material? Maybe, but what fun would that be? Afterall half the fun of a journey is getting there, and the prize hard gotten always seems sweeter. But enough cliche sayings. I guess what it boils down to is that to me, it somehow seems like I'm betraying someone's trust when I try to condense their being into a blip on some qualitative scale. Anyway, enough rambling for tonight...
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine while she was looking through some of my new pictures. She ran across a photo of another friend of mine that I used to have a crush on, and made the comment, "you could do better than that...no offense." And I didn't really take offense, but for some reason that I couldn't really place, the comment bothered me and has been tickling my brain ever since.
What does it mean to do better, or worse, when it comes to your heart/mind/animal nature finding someone appealing as a potential mate? More specifically what contextual frame(s) is this better/worse scale coming from? This person's looks and how others view them? Their social attractability and how entertaining they are? Their intellegence and how successful they are in life? How good they are in bed? Or is it how you feel inside when you're apart and think about them, how you feel when you seem them again; the way just being around them sometimes puts a big stupid grin on your face? Their ability and desire to push away the loneliness and feeling of singularity inherent to human nature, even if just for a few precious exquisite moments?
I don't really know the answers to all those questions, and I think at this point in my life it'd be presumptuous of me to boil down the complexities of a person and a relationship I might have with them as being "better" or worse" than some standard. And it seems, not that I haven't been guilty of it, somewhat conceited of us to try and judge another person's love interest as being better or worse (with the obvious exceptions of a sleaze ball, domestic abuser, drug addict, etc). I'm not saying this as a criticism of my friend, but more as a comment on the human need to contrast gray zones, that we don't really understand, into black and white, good and bad, etc. If you want more evidence of this, just look at our current Resident in Chief Bush.
I mean, wouldn't life be so much easier if everything were black and white? if you could meet someone and immediately mark them with a check or X as dating material? Maybe, but what fun would that be? Afterall half the fun of a journey is getting there, and the prize hard gotten always seems sweeter. But enough cliche sayings. I guess what it boils down to is that to me, it somehow seems like I'm betraying someone's trust when I try to condense their being into a blip on some qualitative scale. Anyway, enough rambling for tonight...
<< Home