Heading back up North

Last couple of weeks have been a bit surreal, between finals, getting ready to move, worrying about my brother, and saying goodbye to friends. Things haven't been really good, but they also haven't been really bad, more in a purgatorial state of hazy definition. I'm now a college graduate, but I still don't have a job. I'm moving back home, but we just sold "home" and need to move over the next 3 months. My brother is out of the hospital, but we know things will be getting worse over the coming months. I'm looking forward to seeing friends up North, but I'm leaving even more friends behind. I'm yearning to stay in one place for more than 3 months at a time, but I don't know if the Bay Area is that place. The list of contrasts goes on and on.

I've gotten to the point where I just can't think about it too much, or I'll go nuts. I've had to begin to just become more accepting of the way things are. Other than vaguries such as knowing I want to near SF or in San Diego, and the kind of job I want, I really can't foresee a path for my future right now. Up until now, college has made seeing that path easy. But now that chapter is done and for really the first time in my life I find myself having to give in to fate & happenstance, and letting time do the telling.