May 22

Sweet love, don't deny me just a hand to hold;
I may not always be the one who sees.
I find myself blinded from time to time,
Reaching out for someone who can take the lead.
And in my weariness I've tried to cry
Although my eyes are dry, I've cried inside.

Sweet love, let me lay myself beside you
And listen to your breathing 'til it slows
Long enough to dream a vision of my life
Wrapped up in the gentle wind that blows.
A vision of a life lived long ago--
I see it, though the lights are low.

Sweet love, like the leaves that fall
The scenes go drifting by my eyes.
And I remember holding you
Telling you that it would be all right
You know the road looked straight ahead from far away
But it turned into a blind curve
And I've lost my way today.
--Kate Wolf

May 8th

Spent all day Saturday clearing a giant oak tree that fell on the property, in so much bloody pain I can't believe it. Today was pretty much a bomb too. With the exception of finally being able to hang out with the whole crew last night, the weekend pretty much sucked ass. Alcohol makes pain killers work better, right? Hopefully...

Hurt

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way